Am I a good enough writer?
Writing is such a lonely endeavour, but also very subjective. One could easily convince themselves that they suck…
Hello and Salam alaykum dear friends 👋🏾,
I hope you’re well!
Today I feel free as a bird. Even though I know it’s only for the short term, it feels good to have one less deadline to worry about.
Amidst working on my deadline, I received feedback from my agent on my novel and BOY it was long. All of the points she addressed were valid, and before delving into the feedback, she praised my writing and highlighted the strengths of the book. Yet, after reading the feedback, I couldn’t help the fleeting thought ‘you’re not a good writer’.
I called myself out immediately and presented the facts (won an award, shortlisted for two etc.), but throughout the day the same thought sprang to mind from time to time. I immediately shared my feelings with a dear writerly friend, who affirmed what I already knew but needed to be reminded of, that feedback is not a judgement of my writing, and working on the feedback would only make my writing and story much stronger. It makes sense, right? You’re being given feedback because the person trusts that you have the skills to action it and make your work better.
In the following week, while on a call with one of my peers as we tried to make sense of our assignment question, I confided that sometimes I wonder if I’m a good writer or if I can write at all. She immediately stopped me in my tracks, and reminded me that I’d been accepted into the writing Masters at Oxford for a reason. But beyond that, she’s also read my work.
These two encounters made me grateful for the community of writers I’m surrounded by. Writing is such a lonely endeavour, but also very subjective. One could easily convince themselves that they suck, regardless of how many books they’ve written or accolades they’ve received. By being affirmed of my writing skills early on, I am able to separate my ability from the success of whatever I produce – though this is not always easy. I think a lot about Ralph Ellison’s inability to write another novel partly due to the success of Invisible Man (a phenomenal book).
While I don’t often struggle with writing-related imposter syndrome because I’m a firm believer that anything can be learnt (people may have varying levels of talent, but I believe with the right amount of effort, feedback and nurturing, you can do anything), when it does happen, I ensure I sit with the feeling and figure out where it’s stemming from.
Anchored by the kind words and support of my writerly-friends, I approached my agent’s feedback again and created a plan with concrete action points to help me work through this new draft journey (pray for me please!). I also stopped to reflect on what else I could glean from the journey so far, and my biggest learning is that it’s alright if this takes time.
With this in mind, writing friends, I urge you to be kind to yourself even when your writing or creative (or life) projects don’t seem to be working out in the moment. Take some time off if you have to, seek out a supportive community (my inbox is always open!) or input from people you trust, and read books you love, to help remind you why you love the craft so much.
📚 Books I’m currently enjoying
Augustown by Kei Miller: You probably heard me gush about how amazing Kei Miller’s writing is in this letter. I’ve never read any fiction from him, so I recently ordered his novel, Augustown, alongside other books. In the span of two days, a few people whose literary judgment I trust also recommended the book to me out of nowhere, so I knew I had to prioritise it. There aren’t many things I love more than having some to share my reading journey with and a dear friend has kindly volunteered to indulge all the thoughts and feelings I’m certain will crop up as I read this book (a sort of intimate bookclub), and this is making me even more excited to read it.
Manchester Happened by Jennifer Makumbi Nansubuga: I adore short stories, so much I’ve come to realise they’re my comfort read. When a short story is GOOD it’s unforgettable, and I tell everyone who wants to listen about it. I came across Nansubuga’s collection while I prowled my fave bookstagrammer’s page for inspiration. Having read both of Nansubuga’s novels, I have no doubt that I’m in for a treat! I read the first story a few days ago and I’m happy to report that it was 5/5. I’d intended to only read a few pages of it before bed, but I found myself unable to put it down.
Another Brooklyn by Jacqueline Woodson: I love coming of age stories especially ones featuring female friendships or sibling relations, so I’m super excited to read about the fleeting friendship four (used-to-be) inseparable girls.
Krik? Krak! by Edwidge Danticat
26a by Diana Evans: A story featuring twins and a Nigerian mum – that’s all I need to know!
Would love to know what’s on your reading list! Please share in the comments – always excited to add more to my never-ending reading list 🥲
If you found this beneficial at all, please shout about it to your family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances!
Till next time,
Suad x
You're an incredible writer! And your post reminds me of the fact that so prophets were shepherds before they were given their responsibility. This is all part of the journey and In sha Allah it will pay off and the only way is up both with the process and your goals!
This is such a beautiful reminder and having a community in this journey is so absolutely necessary.