Lessons from Oxford: What's the gap in your life?

and how can you use it to enhance your writing

May 05, 2023

Hello and Salam alaykum friends,

Eid Mubarak to all those who celebrated! I hope you’re well and your writing is going well. I’m writing from a very cute café on the high street in Oxford, and I’ve just had a falafel bagel and a Raspberry Ripple Matcha latte (it was so good!).

Why this much tiny detail? One of my post-Ramadan goals is to develop the art of presence as it enhances my daily life but also my writing. My mind is always on overdrive, and this Ramadan has helped me to hone the skill of focusing on the moment, never anything beyond or what could or should have happened.

From being away from Qalb for a month, I realise how much I missed writing this newsletter, particularly as a means to think about the craft of writing and to reflect on my personal writing – thinking about what’s working, what’s going well and what I’m struggling with.

I’m still recovering from Ramadan hangover, and it didn’t necessarily help that I was thrown into my crazy Masters routine right after, but I was so glad to be surrounded by other (stellar) writers and given the boost I need to get back into writing again.

As usual, I’ll love to share one of the many things that has stayed with me from this residency.

At the start of a poetry session facilitated by Dr. Sarah Howe, she asked the pivotal question, ‘what’s something you think is a gap in your life’. We went around the room introducing ourselves and our writing, as well as sharing one or two gaps in our lives. There was a range of responses, but the commonality between them all was the vulnerability mirrored in them.

For me the gaps in my life were:

For a period of four years of my life, my dad was away for work and I always wondered how my life, childhood or our relationship would be different, if at all
I have no living grandparents. Two had passed away before I was born, one when I was three and the last of them, my paternal grandmother, thirteen years ago. Whenever I spend time with friends whose grandparents are still alive and have a strong influence in their lives, I wonder what it would have been like to have grandparents and build a relationship with them. I also think about all the stories that have been lost from their passing, and the stories that may soon be lost if I don’t get to documenting my parents’ lives.

At the end of the session, Sarah suggested working the gap into our writing. There are so many ways we can explore these absences through fiction, non-fiction or poetry. Simply being aware of the gaps in your life can influence the way you approach your writing and the kinds of ideas or themes you write about. So, I leave you with the question:

What’s the gap in your life and how will you work it into your writing?

I’ll love to hear from you:

I’ve been thinking about the ways in which this newsletter can serve you better, and I would love to hear what you think. Please share any ideas you have – big or small!

Qalb Writers Collective

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